In the late 1800s, Captain Finnley Wade was a name both revered and ridiculed among seafarers. A deep-sea explorer with an insatiable curiosity, he spent his life chasing the ocean’s mysteries. He had charted hidden islands, encountered luminescent creatures of the abyss, and once claimed to have seen a ghostly ship swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle.
But his most bizarre and enduring discovery? Sharkneezing.
The Encounter
One fateful night, aboard his ship The Abyssal Gale, Wade and his crew anchored near an uncharted reef. The sea was eerily calm, reflecting the moon’s glow like liquid silver.
“Captain, are you sure about this?” asked Jonas, his first mate. “They say these waters are cursed. No man who’s gone below has ever returned.”
Wade adjusted his brass goggles and smirked. “Cursed, you say? Science does not fear curses, nor does Captain Finnley Wade!” With that, he plunged into the depths.
The underwater world was breathtaking—bioluminescent corals pulsed with an ethereal glow, and schools of fish shimmered like stars. Then, a shadow moved in the distance. Wade’s pulse quickened.
A massive tiger shark, its powerful form gliding effortlessly, emerged from the darkness. It was majestic, its black eyes filled with the cold wisdom of the deep. Wade remained still, his breath controlled.
The shark moved closer. Then—something strange happened.
The creature jerked its head violently, as if irritated by an unseen force. Suddenly, with a sharp whoosh, a jet of water and mucus burst from its nostrils, creating a swirling cloud of debris. The shark gave another shake, then swam away, seemingly relieved.
Wade blinked.
“By Neptune’s beard… did that shark just sneeze?”
The Aftermath
Back aboard The Abyssal Gale, Wade burst onto the deck, still dripping with seawater.
“Jonas! I have seen something truly remarkable!”
Jonas raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me—another ghost squid?”
Wade shook his head furiously. “No, my friend. I have witnessed a most peculiar behavior—an expulsion of water and mucus from a shark’s nares, akin to a man’s sneeze!” He scribbled furiously in his journal.
Jonas leaned over. “And you’re calling it… what?”
Wade paused dramatically. “Sharkneezing!”
Jonas sighed. “Captain… that might be the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said.”
The Lost Journal and The Nautilus Circle
Decades passed, and Wade’s story faded into obscurity. His journal, filled with intricate notes and maps, was lost to the tides—until 1923.
A battered wooden chest washed ashore near the cliffs of Cornwall. Inside was a collection of water-stained documents, maps, and a single leather-bound journal:
“The Abyssal Chronicles—Captain Finnley Wade”
The discovery reached The Nautilus Circle, a secretive group of marine scholars devoted to uncovering lost knowledge of the sea. Gathering in a candlelit library beneath the London docks, they carefully studied Wade’s writings.
Professor Elias Cartwright adjusted his spectacles. “Gentlemen, what we have here is either the ramblings of a madman… or the first recorded observation of a behavior unknown to science.”
Dr. Beatrice Langley, a rising marine biologist, leaned forward. “If Wade’s account is true, it suggests that sharks, despite lacking lungs, have developed a way to expel irritants—an evolutionary adaptation we have never documented.”
“A sneezing shark…” muttered Captain Edward Hollis. “If only we could witness it ourselves.”
Determined to verify Wade’s claim, The Nautilus Circle launched an expedition. With Hollis at the helm, they sailed to the reef Wade had described.
Weeks passed. Then, at last, they found it.
A colossal tiger shark approached their diving team. As Dr. Langley observed, it jerked its head and released a powerful burst of water from its nostrils.
She gasped.
“The old captain was right,” she whispered. “Sharkneezing is real.”
Though The Nautilus Circle debated whether to publish their findings, they ultimately chose to keep them within their secret archives, preserving Wade’s legacy among those who dared to believe in the ocean’s mysteries.
And so, sharkneezing became a whispered legend among divers, a secret passed through generations of those who had glimpsed the truth.
To this day, when a shark expels water from its nares, some pause, remembering Captain Wade’s words.
“By Neptune’s beard… did that shark just sneeze?”